weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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