More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
