If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
