Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
