I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
