And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
