Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
