yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize