I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize