Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
