Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
