It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
