I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize