My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
