I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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