I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
