What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
