great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
