you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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