C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
