I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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