They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she smelled like a LAN party
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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