Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
