the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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