So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
