lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
