You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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