College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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