brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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