he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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