I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
