So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
