if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
