I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize