Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
