I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
