Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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