I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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