She announced her abortion via fbk
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
