i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
