He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
