So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize