The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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