Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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