I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize