U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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