I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
