So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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