Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
