season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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