Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
