Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Randomize
