well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
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