Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
