I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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