God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
