Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
