The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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