im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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