VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
