I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
