WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
