I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Congratulations! We have a period
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