How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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