I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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