wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
