A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She's JV to your varsity
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
